"Whoosh!"
Lin Chengdong opened his eyes, blew out the candle in front of him, and then excitedly looked at his parents beside him. However, for some reason, his parents did not immediately respond to his excitement; instead, they stared at the extinguished candle, lost in thought. Lin Chengdong was taken aback for a moment, the light in his eyes dimmed considerably, and the earlier excitement was replaced by a sense of desolation. He sighed softly and turned to give his parents a hug.
For Lin Chengdong's family, this eighteenth birthday held extraordinary significance: it not only marked Lin Chengdong's coming of age but also represented the fragile life that had stubbornly extended for eight years beyond the length declared by the doctors.
Eighteen years ago, Lin Chengdong's father helplessly squatted in the hospital corridor, holding his head and saying nothing, showing no joy of becoming a father for the first time. Relatives surrounded him, some quietly sobbing, others sighing. The day before, everyone had been immersed in the joy of a new birth, but just one day later, they were told that the child's lifespan might not exceed ten years. This young father had never faced such a blow and gradually began to feel like giving up. He thought several times about sending the child to an orphanage, but whenever he thought of his wife in the delivery room and his child, as pure and flawless as jade, his heart felt as if it were being tightly gripped by a large hand, causing him pain. In the following years, he took the child to major hospitals across the country, but all he received were repeated shakes of the head from doctors. After hitting a wall time and again, he turned to seeking divine help, kneeling on the cold, hard stone floor of a temple, banging his head in prayer. Perhaps heaven took pity on this unfortunate family; the Lin family's child grew up safely for ten years without dying.
On Lin Chengdong's eleventh birthday, his mother held him in her arms, gently rubbing his hair, crying uncontrollably, saying over and over:
"You are the only thought of your father and mother; you must live well."
Lin Chengdong reached out his tender little hand to wipe away his mother's tears, feeling very downcast. This birthday was not as happy as in previous years; he felt more lost and forlorn. Although his parents had always avoided bringing it up, the precocious Lin Chengdong still learned from others that he was different from other children. Although he did not know what death was at that time, he strongly resisted and rejected it, with a powerful desire to survive rising within him.
After crossing the hurdle of turning ten, Lin Chengdong's health seemed to slowly improve; not only did the frequency of his illnesses decrease significantly, but he was also taller than his peers. As he grew up, Lin Chengdong became outstanding in appearance, excelled academically, and was polite to others. If it weren't for his illness, he would have been the child every family hoped to have. He passed through elementary school, middle school, and high school peacefully and even got into a prestigious university. On the day of his eighteenth birthday, the Lin family celebrated as if it were a festival. Perhaps it was hard for outsiders to understand, but for Lin's parents, every day for the past eighteen years had been filled with worry that their son might suddenly disappear. Therefore, the fact that Lin Chengdong had lived to this day was already a miracle they dared not hope for. It seemed that everything was moving in a positive direction, and the Lin family, who had been living in fear, saw a glimmer of hope. Although it was still faint, they were no longer as fearful as before; sometimes, Lin Chengdong would even forget that he was still a sickly body.
In the blink of an eye, Lin Chengdong stepped into the university gates. Before leaving, his mother, with red-rimmed eyes, solemnly handed him a talisman for safety. Lin Chengdong dared not speak, feeling a lump in his throat. He quickly took a deep breath, tightly holding his mother's talisman, and walked toward the security check.
He had just sat down for a short while when a kind-looking middle-aged man, rubbing his hands together, smiled and said to him:
"Little brother, could you please switch seats with me? I'm too far away from my wife and can't take care of her."
Lin Chengdong turned to glance at the woman beside him holding a child and thought of his own mother. He sighed inwardly and readily agreed to the middle-aged man's request.
"Thank you so much, young man, but..." The middle-aged man glanced back at his original seat, "But that little girl over there might be a bit difficult to deal with."
After switching seats, he found himself next to a girl wearing a hat and mask. He initially wanted to ask her to move her leg a bit so he could sit in the aisle seat. However, seeing that she was completely still, seemingly asleep, Lin Chengdong was momentarily at a loss, standing there awkwardly, unsure of what to do.
"Sir, please return to your seat quickly; our train is about to depart." The attendant's voice rang out, and Lin Chengdong had no choice but to lift his leg, attempting to step over. The comical sight resembled a bear balancing on a ball in a circus, causing other passengers on the other side to stifle their laughter.
"If you want to get in, just speak up." The girl in the seat suddenly spoke and slightly moved her leg aside.
"Ah, I thought you were asleep; I’m sorry to disturb you." Lin Chengdong sat down, feeling a bit awkward.
"Wooden head." The girl coldly tossed out a remark and said no more. Lin Chengdong already felt awkward, and hearing her words made his face turn red, unsure of how to respond.
Throughout the journey, Lin Chengdong kept reflecting on this little incident, increasingly doubting his actions, fearing he might have upset the girl next to him or even given her the wrong impression.
"I need to find an opportunity to apologize and explain clearly." Lin Chengdong thought to himself.
At noon, the attendant pushed a food cart around to sell bento boxes. As they approached Lin Chengdong's row, he secretly glanced at the girl next to him and noticed she had no intention of eating. After pondering for a moment, he signaled to the attendant that he needed two portions. He took the bento boxes and placed one on the small table in front of the girl, not caring whether she could hear him, and began to speak to himself:
"I'm really sorry; I was genuinely worried about disturbing your rest, and I had no other intentions. Let me treat you to this meal as an apology."
After speaking, Lin Chengdong lowered his head, pretending to bow. But after half a minute, he hadn't heard the girl say anything, and he felt puzzled. Slowly lifting his head to observe her reaction, he saw her staring at him intently, her gaze cold.
"I'm not angry with you, so you don't need to apologize or treat me to a meal."
Hearing this, Lin Chengdong let out a sigh of relief, his body, which had been tense, relaxed considerably. He clenched his fist and extended his hand toward the girl beside him.
"If you're not angry, that's great. Let's be friends; my name is Lin Chengdong."
"Su Mei." The girl turned to glance at Lin Chengdong, giving his hand a light shake, "And just so you know, I only shook your hand out of politeness, not because I want to be friends."
Lin Chengdong didn't mind the latter part; he was just thinking about her name.
"Su Mei, that's quite a nice name."
Meanwhile, Su Mei casually looked at her phone, pretending to type. But only she knew that her face, hidden behind the mask, had already turned slightly red.
"Though a bit foolish, he's still quite cute."
When it was time to get off the train, Lin Chengdong gentlemanly helped Su Mei retrieve her suitcase. Su Mei merely thanked him, and they did not engage in any further conversation. On the platform, Lin Chengdong watched Su Mei's back as she walked away quickly, his gaze flickering slightly, feeling a bit regretful that he hadn't said more.
"I wish we could meet again." Lin Chengdong thought as he pulled his suitcase and walked toward the exit.
In the next half day, he completed his enrollment procedures, chatted with his roommates for a while, and then followed the signs to find the classroom for his first class meeting. He chose a seat in the back row, sat quietly, and took out a small leather notebook.
"Another task completed." Lin Chengdong flipped to the last page of the notebook and took out a photo from the pocket, examining it closely.
"Ah, I'm sorry." Suddenly, someone walked past him and knocked his notebook to the ground. He was about to say it was fine when he realized the person in front of him looked very familiar.
"Su, Su Mei?" Lin Chengdong tentatively called out.
"Mm." Su Mei picked up the notebook and placed it in front of him, then coldly replied. At that moment, Su Mei was not wearing a mask, and it was Lin Chengdong's first time seeing her face.
"Are you in this class too?"
"Otherwise?"
"That's really a coincidence; I'm in this class as well." Lin Chengdong suddenly realized how silly his words sounded, cleared his throat, "I think you look better without a mask..."
"Can I sit next to you?" Su Mei interrupted him.
"If you don't mind, of course." Lin Chengdong picked up the backpack he had placed on the adjacent chair and stood up to let Su Mei in. Although Lin Chengdong had encountered such situations before, for some reason, he felt unusually nervous this time, and as he stood up, his knee bumped heavily against the table corner. Lin Chengdong let out a muffled grunt but still managed to maintain a calm demeanor.
Su Mei said nothing more and sat directly next to him, playing with her phone. Lin Chengdong noticed she wasn't paying attention to him and quickly rubbed his painfully bumped leg. But at that moment, he felt an uncontrollable joy. He quickly turned his back to Su Mei, fearing she might misunderstand him like she did in the morning.
Meanwhile, Su Mei clenched her hands around her phone, seemingly venting some emotion.
"Why did this fool turn away?"
...
Time flew by, and by the end of the third year, it was the school's anniversary. The school organized a summer dance party, inviting students and teachers from various colleges to participate. Those eager to find a partner naturally wouldn't miss this excellent social opportunity. At first, Lin Chengdong was not interested, and since he couldn't dance, he didn't sign up. He planned to return home early to see his parents and began packing his luggage.
"Hey, Lin, are you packing so early? Aren't you going to the dance?" his roommate asked in confusion.
"I can't dance; you guys go have fun."
"Ah, that's such a pity. You're so handsome; you don't even need to dance; just standing there will attract girls." His roommate glanced at Lin Chengdong with a knowing look, "Besides, Su Mei might go too; are you sure you don't want to join?"
Lin Chengdong suddenly stopped but quickly resumed packing, "Whether she goes or not has nothing to do with me."
"Stop pretending, Lin. We all know you like her; just be straightforward."
"Really? You all can see that?" Lin Chengdong stammered.
"Of course! Look at what you've done these past few years—bringing her breakfast, umbrellas, preparing birthday gifts, and always sitting near her. Only a fool wouldn't notice." His roommate counted off on his fingers, listing everything Lin Chengdong had done.
Lin Chengdong's thoughts were suddenly exposed, and he felt his face flush, his hands becoming distracted.
Meanwhile, Su Mei sat on her dorm bed, hugging a doll and tugging at its fur.
"Stop pulling; it'll go bald." Su Mei's friend said irritably.
"Do you think he'll go? If he doesn't, all my efforts will be in vain."
"Don't worry; guys never miss out on opportunities to meet girls. You always say he's a fool, but I think he's not foolish at all; he might be quite clever."
"He's just a fool; even with all my hints, he still hasn't confessed." At this point, Su Mei became a bit angry and threw the doll hard against the wall.
"Then why don't you be more proactive if you like him?"
"I..." Su Mei thought of something, lowered her head, and fell silent.
On the day of the dance, Lin Chengdong put on a suit he hadn't worn in a long time and stood in front of the mirror, carefully tying his tie. He repeated the process three times before he was satisfied. Su Mei also put on exquisite makeup and changed into a black lace dress. Both of them held their little thoughts, waiting for the other to notice.
...
"Excuse me, can I ask you to dance?" Lin Chengdong was looking around when a female voice rang in his ear. He snapped back to reality and politely declined the girl's invitation.
"If you don't want to dance, we can eat something and chat." The girl extended another invitation. Lin Chengdong was about to refuse again but felt it would be impolite, so he agreed. While they were chatting, Su Mei stood nearby, coldly watching them, jealousy bubbling up inside her. She walked straight up to Lin Chengdong, picked up the cup of wine he had left on the table, drank it in one gulp, and then walked away.
Lin Chengdong's expression changed slightly, and he quickly excused himself from the girl beside him, chasing after Su Mei.
"Wait for me!" Lin Chengdong grabbed Su Mei's arm but quickly let go, "It's not what you think; that girl invited me to dance at first, and I refused, then she asked if I could..."
"So?" Su Mei stared at Lin Chengdong's face, her expression indifferent.
"And then I couldn't refuse again, so I chatted with her for a bit, but it was all normal topics, nothing else, and then you came over. I was looking for you the whole time; I was afraid you wouldn't come, I..."
The more Lin Chengdong spoke, the quieter his voice became until it was barely audible.
"Why do you need to tell me what you talked about with her? It has nothing to do with me." Su Mei threw down a sentence and walked toward the lawn outside.
Lin Chengdong gritted his teeth and quickly followed.
"Why are you following me?" Su Mei's tone was a bit irritated.
"I like you." Lin Chengdong took a deep breath and said to her.
Su Mei suddenly stopped, a hint of panic flashing in her eyes, and pulled him toward a secluded area where no one was around.
"I didn't hear you just now; say it again."
"I said, I like you."
Su Mei said nothing, looking at Lin Chengdong's sincere expression, knowing he wasn't lying. She had waited three years for this sentence, and finally, this thick-headed boy had come to his senses, which excited her. But soon, that excitement was replaced by disappointment. Su Mei calmed herself and looked at Lin Chengdong.
"You shouldn't like me; I have an illness."
"I have an illness too."
"Please, I'm not joking."
"Neither am I."
...
"So, the doctor said you could only live for ten years?" Su Mei asked curiously.
"Yeah, but not only did I live for several more years, but my health has also improved." Lin Chengdong looked at the people in the square preparing to set off fireworks and said lightly. "So I believe you will also get better slowly, just like me."
"But I've had depression for many years; if I could get better, I would have done so long ago. If I can't get better, then I probably won't."
"Let's not talk about this. Actually, I had a crush on you since the day I met you on the high-speed train, but I only dared to tell you today. I guess I'm quite cowardly." Lin Chengdong rubbed his nose, "I thought I was hiding it well, but I didn't expect my roommate to have noticed long ago."
"You fool, can't you tell that I feel the same way?" Su Mei suddenly smiled, and Lin Chengdong was taken aback, then began to laugh. But after laughing for a while, Lin Chengdong suddenly covered his face and started to cry. "I really like you so much, but I can't be with you; I'm too scared..."
Su Mei was startled by the sudden change, feeling at a loss. She patted Lin Chengdong's trembling shoulder, pulled him into her embrace, and gently sighed.
In the distance, fireworks rose into the sky, illuminating the dark night. Su Mei's face was also lit up by the fireworks, and her clear eyes were filled with loneliness.
After the summer vacation, Su Mei went abroad for an exchange program, while Lin Chengdong stayed at school to prepare for his graduate studies. After that night filled with fireworks, the two did not end up together. Even though Su Mei persisted for a long time, Lin Chengdong did not agree. He knew how dangerous his illness was, so he couldn't drag Su Mei down. Moreover, this experience had already allowed him to fulfill one of his wishes.
...
"I've sent the project proposal to your email; remember to check it... Okay, bye." Su Mei hung up the phone, closed her laptop, and stretched. It had been almost three years since she returned to the country, and she had found a decent job in the city where she had previously attended university. Although she didn't believe in fate, a sense of expectation guided her back here. She had contacted Lin Chengdong, but he was still studying for his master's degree in another province, and she was too busy with work to find him. After tidying up her desk and saying goodbye to her colleagues, she left work. Today was Friday, and she didn't rush home, wandering aimlessly and enjoying the rare leisure time. Passing by a convenience store near her company, she suddenly thought of buying a bottle of lemon soda. She usually didn't like it, but ever since Lin Chengdong bought her a bottle once, and she said it was good, she hadn't stopped drinking lemon soda. Thinking of this, Su Mei couldn't help but feel a bit down. She quickly found the soda she wanted and was about to check out when a figure walked into the store that she would never forget.
"When did you come? Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you come find me?" Su Mei could no longer control her emotions and questioned the man in front of her with a choked voice.
"I just arrived; I originally wanted to go see you downstairs at your company and leave, but I didn't expect..." Lin Chengdong's eyes were downcast, like a child who had done something wrong.
Su Mei didn't respond, just like three years ago, she took Lin Chengdong's arm and walked out.
...
"How long are you planning to stay this time?" Su Mei played with the spoon in her hand, stirring the delicate latte art in her coffee into a mess.
"If all goes well, I should be stable now. I've found a job here, but it's quite far from your company."
"How long do you plan to avoid me?"
Lin Chengdong turned his head to the side, not daring to look at Su Mei.
"Why won't you look at me? Do you think I'm ugly?" Su Mei's eyes turned red, biting her lip.
"If only I weren't sick, I would be with you without hesitation. But there are no 'ifs,' and I know what death is like."
"You've never died."
"But I just know." Lin Chengdong suddenly choked up.
The two fell silent for a moment, and Su Mei gently took Lin Chengdong's hand, looking into his eyes, speaking each word clearly:
"Illness can gradually get better, but for the person I like, I really can't bear to wait too long."
...
"What is it that's so mysterious?" Su Mei teased.
"Ah, you'll find out in a moment." Lin Chengdong placed a property deed on the table, "Okay, you can open your eyes now."
Looking at the scene in front of her, Su Mei was momentarily at a loss, "What is this?"
"I took all the money I've saved over the past twenty years, plus the money my parents left me to buy a house, and bought you a place. This way, even if I really leave one day, you won't suffer too much. And don't worry, I bought it outright, so there's no mortgage." As Lin Chengdong spoke, he took out a set of keys, "It's at Green Forest Garden, Building 5, Apartment 801. I've already thought about it; I want to leave a space specifically for the shoes you bought me, and also..."
Su Mei looked at Lin Chengdong in front of her, feeling a wave of sorrow in her heart.
...
"Xiao Su, can you come to the hospital?" Lin's mother's voice on the phone was filled with exhaustion.
A very bad premonition rose in Su Mei's heart, and her breathing became rapid. She quickly took a taxi to the hospital. The bright red indicator light on the operating room door was lit, and Lin's father, mother, and some of Lin Chengdong's other relatives were sitting on the long bench in the corridor.
"Xiao Su, you're here; Dongdong..." Lin's mother came forward, holding Su Mei's hand, but could no longer suppress her sadness, tears streaming down her face.
"It's okay, Auntie; nothing will happen. I believe in him; he's always been lucky." Su Mei gritted her teeth, her eyes red.
...
"Who is the patient's family member? Please sign the critical condition notice."
...
"I'm sorry; we did our best."
...
"Time of death: 10:35 PM, December 17."
Lin Chengdong couldn't cross this hurdle and closed his eyes in the cold December night. Su Mei, with her eyes swollen from crying, took a small leather notebook from Lin's mother's hand.
"Chengdong said that if he leaves, he hopes you can help him cross off the last item and then burn it for him."
Su Mei sat on a chair in the corridor, flipping through the pages one by one:
......
Score 100 on an exam √
Participate in a sports meet √
Ride a roller coaster √
Take a plane √
......
Get into university √
Have a romantic relationship √
Buy a house √
......
Marry Su Mei
.....
Outside the operating room, the doctor handed a slightly yellowed photo to Lin's father and slowly said, "He was a good kid."
Lin's father took the photo, which depicted two boys who looked quite similar, taken when Lin Chengdong was ten years old. On the back of the photo, there was a line written:
"Brother, I might not be able to live for you; please don't blame me."